Rain Dance!

Weekends deserve longer posts (:

I tell you.

I'm a failure when it comes to socialising.

#)(@$!#($@
I feel PAISEH la.
It's super AWKWARD can?
So I don't talk to people unless there is a dire need to so.
when I say "people" I mean like strangers and those who I don't speak to often.

and especially with those who are younger than me.
I CANNOT DO IT.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I shall train on socialising with my juniors but not so much
up till the point that they think I'm an easy-going senior.

Little kids are driving me up the wall.
and they make me feel guilty.
but ARGH I can't blame them...
cuz their kids.
small kids.

Embarrassment is not a nice feeling.
I mean when you'r friends disiao u and stuff like that..
that's not so bad.

I think since because everyone has high expectations of me...
When I do something wrong,
I feel guilty to the max.

Right, I shall do something beneficial now...
like plan my hols with wonderful events.
but I don't have the schedule for SYF trgs!!!
DO YOU KNOW HOW CONFINED I FEEL???
From now on, I shall bring my planner everywhere I go.

Upcoming events soon:
NPCC day
Sodoku Inter-unit challenge
0.22 revolver shoot prelims round

I will be missing the sodoku part.
but the TO put me as the AOIC for the event.
haha.
Now I dunno what to say.

I really need to stop feeling paranoid.
Cuz I think.... ARGH.
I just don't like to be feel left out.
and I hope if anyone is not happy with me..
we can settle it in a peaceful manner.

I'm younger than most my squadmates and friends.
SO PLEASE LEND ME YOUR GUIDANCE.

Friends: I have very few close friends. So yeah if I'm annoying you please tell me... :)

Squadmates: I know we have some fights because all of us have ambitions. but I want you to know that I will put your ideas into serious consideration before deciding on anything. :)

Seniors: er... on your own account if you want to give me advice on how I can improve my leadership style, I don't mind.

CIs: I need help from these ppl too! I've yet to exercise my leadership skills after so long. I hope that under your supervision, I will become a better person.

TOs: Yeah. They have high expectations of me. I will do my best not to disappoint.

Juniors: I believe that I have some things to learn from this grp of people too! Constructive critism is encouraged too!

heh. Okay I write a lot without knowing...
That's what you can expect when I'm bored...
GAH I need something to do.

Oh yeah. I need to plan my hols.
I bet holiday homework is gonna start pouring in this weekend.
Homework on top of courses on top of SYF trainings.
ARGH.

posted by Siti Nur Aishah @ 1:17:00 AM